#Sometimes things in my head have a black AND a white background at the same time it's so weird

[hannahssimblr]

Photoshop Tutorial #1 - Change Background & Add Reflections

Before & After

You will need

Photoshop

Internet Access

I was inspired to make this tutorial after facing a dilemma in my game. I wanted my sims to swim in Brindleton Bay, but, shock horror, the water there is not swimmable. Luckily, I know how to change the background of my screenshots to make it appear as though it is - and I'm going to bring you through the process of how!

Starting off, in game, I brought my sims to Tartosa and got my desired shot. Then, heading over to Brindleton Bay, I got some shots of the horizon that I wanted as a backdrop.

Here's a picture I took:

Okay! Let's open up Photoshop!

For reference, I have Photoshop 2024, but most if not all of the features I've used should be included in older versions too.

Here's our image! Now I'm selecting the Background layer in the layers panel and press CTRL J twice to create two duplicates.

I'll turn off the bottom two layers for now, (by clicking the eye button, for newbies) and go to the properties panel. this should be on the right hand side, above the layers panel, but if it isn't, simply go into window > properties to switch it on.

With the layer selected, I click remove background and voila! Photoshop has... er... done her best to remove the background (she sometimes gets it wrong, but at least it's a help)

You'll see that a layer mask has been created. (circled in image).

If you haven't used layer masks before, the only important thing to know is that black will erase and white will add.

So with my brush tool (shortcut B) selected and set to black, I can go around the image and erase all of the parts I don't want.

If you have a steady hand and a tablet/cintiq you can do the same job a little quicker with the lasso tool (shortcut L) by selecting any unwanted area and simply pressing delete

Once I've removed all that needs to be removed, I see that there's a little slice of her hair that needs to be added. I can change the brush colour to white and paint it in.

Done! Easy!

Okay, let's switch off this layer for now, and switch on the one beneath it.

This is the layer I want to make look like the Brindleton Bay sea. So I'll make sure to pull an image of the water up as reference for colour.

This time I'm going to create a layer mask using the polygonal lasso tool

It's easy.

Find the lasso tool in the tool panel on the left of screen (the third icon from the top - or by pressing L on your keyboard)

Left click & hold, and a menu will pop up. Select the polygonal lasso tool.

Click around the area you'd like to mask, in my case, the sea. Tip: if you hold down the shift key while clicking, you will be able to create perfectly straight lines.

Click on the layer mask button at the bottom of the layers panel (pictured)

Everything except the selected area should disappear!

A small thing here, but I don't want the reflection of the rock in the water in my picture. I'll select the layer (not mask), take the eyedropper tool (shortcut i) with the sample set to all layers, and use a soft brush (B) to paint it away.

Next I'm using adjustment layers to edit the colour of the water, to try and make the blue turquoise paradise look more like the horrible green bog water of the bay.

You'll find these next to the mask button in the layers panel.

For my picture, I'm using hue/saturation for the colour and levels for the light. you can fiddle around with any of the adjustment layers to find what works for you.

I've shown the adjustments I've made for my specific scene below, just for reference.

When I'm happy with the colours/lighting, I select all adjustment layers (shift + L click to select multiple), then right click and choose create clipping mask. This is to ensure that the adj layers don't affect any other parts of the image, just the area I want it to.

And there! My water is looking sludgy, just like I wanted.

Okay! I've decided that I'd like some texture in the water. It always annoys me that sims water looks so flat. So here's where Pinterest enters the story.

I like Pinterest because unlike Google, the majority of the images are not watermarked. You're also slightly less likely to find AI slop.

I wanted some water ripples, so I searched for something like Water Texture, found one I liked, and dragged and dropped it into my photoshop file.

From here, I transformed it (CTRL + T) by resizing & rotating the bounding box, then grabbing the corners while holding CTRL to create some kind of perspective that works for the image.

I didn't bother bringing it all the way to the horizon, because I intend to fade that out with a gradient anyway. I had to sacrifice the bottom of the image for the sake of correct perspective, but that's fine. I will crop that out later.

With the texture layer selected, set the blending mode to soft light. It blends nicely!

Now! Another layer mask! These are our friends

With the texture layer still selected, I create a layer mask.

This time, because I had nothing in the image selected first, the layer mask will appear white. That just means nothing has been masked yet.

With it selected, I find the gradient tool (shortcut G) if you press G and the paint bucket tool is activated, simply navigate to the tool panel on the left of the file, hold the paint bucket tool down and select gradient.

I'll change the colour to black, and make sure I have the foreground to transparent gradient selected.

Other settings are pictured.

I'll drag the gradient over the area I want to mask. In this case, the top of the water texture to make it appear as though it's fading away towards the horizon.

(Doubly make sure you've selected the mask, not the layer while performing this action.)

Looking good!

Time to drag the layer above your adjustment layers and create a clipping mask again.

Alright! Let's do the background.

I'll drag that image of Brindleton Bay that I took earlier into the file.

I want to place it below my sea layer, and above that original background layer (I am going to leave that untouched for insurance reasons)

Then, using the move tool (shortcut V) I'm simply going to move it to the correct place. Basically I just want the horizon lines to match up.

Tip: hold the shift key to drag an image in a straight line.

Enter to confirm.

You can see that the sky is now unfinished, but it's such an easy fix. I'll just select the sky colour with the eyedropper tool, then use the paint bucket tool & brush tool to fill in the sky.

Done!

Now - note that the sea doesn't quite blend in with the background. To fix this, I'm going to take my eyedropper tool (shortcut i) and select some of that dark green colour beneath the mountains.

I will create a layer (+ button on the base of the layer panel) and drag it above that sea texture layer I created earlier.

Then I'll create a layer mask to clip it to the sea.

I'm grabbing that gradient tool again (G) and creating a nice gradient on the horizon.

The horizon line is a little sharp, in my opinion, I want it more faded. So, using a soft brush (B) and that same green colour, I'm going to create a new layer & place it above that green gradient, this time I'm not clipping it.

Holding down the shift key, I'm going to draw a straight line right across the horizon. This helps to blend it all together a bit better.

Now! for Reflections!

Firstly, I'm going back to that sky layer with the Brindleton Bay mountains, and I'm going to duplicated by pressing CTRL + J

I'm dragging it above the sea layer, but below all of the other clipping masks. This will automatically create a clipping mask for the new layer.

Next, I'm going to edit > transform > flip vertical

With the move tool (V) I'm moving the image upwards so that the horizon lines meet and it looks like the lighthouse and mountains are reflecting in the sea.

Note: make sure auto select is off while using the move tool on a layer that lies beneath several others.

This leaves a little bit of a mess on the bottom on the canvas, which can be fixed by creating a layer mask & the gradient tool set to black, and dragging a gradient over the bottom of the image until it blends nicely into the sea.

With the mountains reflection done, I'm going to move onto the people.

I'll turn that top layer that I worked on earlier back on.

Then I'll duplicate it (CTRL + J)

Right click on the layer mask of the duplicate and select Apply Layer Mask from the dropdown. This simply bakes the layer mask into the image. Usually I try to edit non-destructively as much as possible, but in this case it's fine to destroy.

I'm going to rename this layer Reflection

With that new, reflection layer selected, I'll go to Edit > Transform > Flip Vertical, just like before.

I want to add a little water/shimmer effect to their faces, so I'm going to Filter > Distort > ZigZag

I'll just mess around with the settings here until I find something I like.

This is optional, obviously, I've done reflections in edits without doing any of this, but it just adds something a little extra to water scenes, I think.

Here's a time I didn't do that.

anyway, my sims are looking a bit crazy now, but it's fine, because I'm going to, you guessed it, add a layer mask and gradient.

But first, using the lasso tool (L) I'm going to draw around one of the characters and drag her into place. I can move the bounding box around a bit to make her shoulders meet in the right place.

Then I'll do the same for the other character.

Tip: Hold CTRL while moving, warping or resizing something for a smoother, more precise experience.

Now, I'm doing what I said I would, and I'm creating that layer mask. We know how to do it by now, right?

Make sure everything is deselected first by pressing CTRL + D

Create layer mask

Select Gradient (G) set to black

Drag gradient over bottom of reflection (If you ever need more precise gradients, you can select the round gradient at the top of the file. I needed it to blend the reflection on the right more, because the characters are not at an even height.)

In the Layer panel, change opacity to 20% (or whatever you like) and hit Enter to confirm

Using Crop (shortcut C) I'm going to crop my image, cut off that pesky strip at the bottom and just basically make the framing of the picture a little bit nicer.

And viola!

I could edit this image more, throw in bounced light, splashes etc etc but I'll leave it like this.

The only thing I will add in is a little lens flare to indicate sun, so again, I'm taking to Pinterest and searching for one that works.

Tip: make sure the background of a lens flare image is completely black. Otherwise it will be harder to use.

Below is the one I have chosen.

I'm simply changing the blending mode to screen, moving it and resizing it with the transform tool (T), and fiddling with the opacity until I'm happy.

That's it!

I made a video running through this whole process, with all of my shortcuts in the bottom right hand corner so that you can see exactly what is happening.

If there are other tutorials you'd like to see in future, please let me know!

And I'm more than happy to answer any questions!

Good luck <3

[wraithdance]

https://www.tumblr.com/wraithdance/765961917651140608/i-really-liked-your-explanation-of-the-whole?source=share

I am really bad at articulating my thoughts but I think about this a lot as someone who hopes to 1- major in neuroscience (i'm 18, going to uni next year) and 2- is trans. I know being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, very cognizant of that, but more to the point where I relate to the aspect of not being able to get over the like mental wall of seeing "neutral" readers as me? I don't know what my brain is doing when i read certain fics but sometimes i can't do it.

I feel like I should close read some of my favorite fic and least favorite fic to see if there are triggers I didn't notice on the first read. does that make sense or seem similar to what you experience? Again I know it's not the same thing, but like i am so curious as to what cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white.

I am sorry if this bothers you, really not my intentions, I am obviously a future brain nerd and i can't stop thinking about this

Congratulations fellow Nerd! You've activated my interest in Race theory and fandom writing from an academic perspective!

Writing reflects life and to answer this question properly, I have to talk about life shit to catch you up to speed, (this should help if you take a sociology or cultural anthropology class lmao) So, Welcome to:

Calvary yaps: Sociology & Intersectionality in fandom writing 101!

Disclaimer: I'm just a random bitch on the internet who loves English and the ridiculousness of social hierarchies, this will be referencing American social constructs and in groups only, with a focus on my experience as a Black American woman who reads a shit ton of books. Don't fight me if you hate my explanation, I will simply not respond.

Read my house rules before sending me an ask, I'm just being a dumb ass rn and word vomiting my interests, so pls i beg no follow up questions unless I say I'm open to em later.

Definitions to know:

Socialization: the act of preparing individuals to participate in society by learned social norms taught in ones family or social settings like school/friend groups. (one can be socialized in gender, race, cultural practices, etc.)

Social Hierarchies: systems of social organization in which some individuals enjoy a higher social status than others (in my opinion this is a lingering safety measure from lizard brain cavemen hunter/gatherer days)

Intersectionality: A term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw; The process of acknowledging the unique parallels a marginalized person experiences when they have more than one marginalization (ie: race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, size, etc.)

Matriarchal society: Social groups/family structures that center female figures as representatives of authority.

Implicit Bias: Unintentional bias a person may have towards a group or individual based on learned stereotypes, prejudices, perceptions based on another's background or state of being.

first, yes anon you are making sense! So the main question:

'What cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white?'

I've been mulling this question around in my head for a few days and tried to figure out how to articulate this without going into depth in Sociological theory, but I can't! So here we are lmao, this is long as fuck so TLDR here.

I've talked to a LOT of Black and PoC people over the last months because I thought I was the only one who felt strange or could tell immediately when a writer was white, despite doing the best job they could to be neutral.

Every person I spoke to agreed they could tell right away even if we don't share similar racial backgrounds.

The answer I've come up with to why that is, is because white people are socialized (taught by society/their parents how to behave) in a way many black and PoC people are not, so their reader characters will often act in a way PoC people have learned not to, so it flags for many of us.

I plan to answer another question about this at a later date so an example is with shit like:

An over deference to hyper masculine male characters (for PoC cultures like certain Black/Latine groups that are often matriarchal in nature and don’t ascribe to as many traditional gender roles, this is a flag), lack of interpersonal/familial connection, over meekness, no challenging of external factors so things just HAPPEN to the reader and lack of awareness of surroundings to name a few. 

A lot of the language of the irl world places white cis people from Western countries as the default and everyone else as others. In which, PoC people have learned to navigate the world very carefully with a hyper-focus on what will potentially bring them harm/scrutiny/ostracism especially in white dominant spaces.

That extends to when we have down time while reading or partaking in media smfh.

I'm sure you've had to learn the same as a trans person navigating cis spaces and it's the same with any marginalization! If you are disabled you have an awareness of able bodied people and their expectations, same with being fat amongst skinny people, etc.

The more marginalizations you have, the louder the rules of social hierarchies become. Which is why many marginalized ppl stick close to those who 'get it' in their social groups as an act of safety in numbers. (Many of us attempt to have strong family connection/harmony because of this)

So referring to your comment about being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, it is when you are a Black or PoC trans person! My angel face @/buttdumplin has spoken a lot about that as a Mexican transman reading fics by cis people!

(Please for the love of God no one come to me explaining how marginalized they are so they shouldn't be lumped in with the white ppl PoC are cognizant of, I will check myself into a psych ward)

So what does that gotta do with reading fics?

No matter what anyone thinks, it is damn near impossible to not frame your writing from the perspective of your lived experiences. It's why even when I try my hardest to make my characters not sound Black, they will always read that way because I have been Black all of my life!

And it doesn't just happen with race, go on tiktok and search male authors writing women. (or here's another article lmao)

Also ask a Southerner how they know someone has never been to the South and don't know shit about our accents when they write Graves. There are linguistic tells that flag off and why we flame actors who pick up southern accents for their roles.

(They chew on that terrible goddamn Appalachian or Louisiana Accent not realizing Southern accents come in many fonts.)

So when I read a fic about Kyle Garrick from a non black person, I can tell the writer is non black by linguistic implications, the things they emphasize about him and what they don't. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading fics from non black people, I can just tell!

And sometimes that means I, and other PoC's associate the Reader as a white OC while reading fics.

For example, all black people are not monolithic because of our cultural and regional experiences, but many of us share common threads. That's usually family involvement, colloquialisms, that stupid fucking cookie tin our elders put sewing supplies in...

Other non Black PoC people might share similar cultural practices, so when I'm reading fics from say a latina, I will cock my head and go wait.... are you...? And surely enough, they are a person of color. 

But even while reading from a non black PoC, I have to tread carefully because anti black sentiment exists in many cultures, which is why you'll hear me say Black and PoC/Non black people interchangeably.

It’s how the conversation of Implicit bias comes up, because unknowingly non white characters can sometimes be written with a hyper focus that makes them seem inhumanly one characteristic or with little to no background while the other characters are fully fleshed out.

like the character of color is just a stand in to move the plot around white characters forward. 

So all that to say, without sometimes meaning to white writers will always sound off to me in a way that my brain can pick up on in the most minuscule ways because my awareness of my blackness/otherness has been drilled in from birth and reinforced by social norms.

I can even tell immediately if a white person has been around only white spaces their whole life with the jokes they tell lol.

In the grand scheme of things the race of the writer is most important to me when something jarring comes up that slaps me away from the experience, it explains so much of the disconnect.

Every marginalized person has a threshold for what they can ignore as a ‘trigger’ before they’re ejected from reader inserts, mine is usually the association with racial historical happenings, certain gender dynamics, etc.

It's why I mention crying like a little bitch when I read my friend Jess's (Kyletogaz) TF 141 Hair series, Dragon’s (Dragonnarative-writes) Transferrable Skills, and even Xavi's (Buttdumplin) Piercing fic.

Reading those fics felt like safety and familiarity. It was a moment where I realized I could drop the mental load I had no idea I was carrying, where I was trying to prepare myself for potential emotional damage and just READ.

It's also why as a Black person who fucks with kink and sex work it's been so touch and go when navigating dark fics/kink fics/fics about Sex workers.

Because there are different rules of engagement non white kinksters have to be aware of and that leads to a point on the collective vs. Individual experience as a PoC in kink, that I’ll eventually make a post about at some point or another. Maybe…

So yeah I’m tired of yapping. I hope this long shit was enough of an explanation!! Thanks to my friends Kiko, Jules, Xavi and Folded for yapping with me so I could articulate this better!!

[im-not-a-sheep]

then again there's other forms of synesthesia like with smell and taste

been wondering if I have synesthesia bc I've been watching some shorts on yt (by zoesthesia) talk about some of her experiences and she described a colorless kinda movement which relates to me but idk if I actually have it bc it's only really triggered by music not sounds (i think) so idk if it has to be sounds or if it still is considered synesthesia with music

[shiningmystic]

A peek into your soul PAC

If you don’t believe in souls then this isn’t for you!

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。° 。°

You may not know yourself as well as you think; Your soul is its own thing, separate from your ego and higher self but is apart of the whole that is you and your energy. It's also only a peek into it so don't be too hung up on the minor details, just have fun! If it doesn’t resonate sorry man! Maybe next reading :)

If you see me describing you, then your pretty aligned with your soul!

How to choose a pile: Pick your favorite superpower and head down to your paragraph. You can choose a second one too if you’re a multi powered superhero 😉

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。° support me on my journey: [Ko-fi]・❥・[Tip me] commissions are open and limited! $6 readings sent through email. Channeled songs: My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski

Flight ➳

Channeled colors: Blue, white, grey

You're a creator at heart, a fool on his journey of awakening. I see hard work isn't for you or your soul. you're a slow mover, a trendsetter someone that holds an explorer's heart and the imagination of a child. you seek freedom in all its forms and a person who enjoys the finer things in life. you take your time and like to do what you want; you're not stubborn but may enjoy sitting around at times when things are going to slow and get boring. Your soul is actually full of surprises, and it advises you to stand up and work on the vision you want even if it may take a while; just feed your soul along the journey like going on adventures and you will be fine. Always keep building what makes your heart dance. Your soul sees through a lot of the ‘fake’ in reality, you do not lie to yourself if you can help it. A wisdom permeates from your soul, an old knowledge ready to be released through you, never be ashamed of the chaos for we are made by it. A beautiful wild mess I hear, and someone is laughing in my ears. You bring joy, speak your truth, wisdom flows out.

。°。°。°。°。°

Super strength ★

Channeled colors: the rainbow, yellow, orange and red

You have been wronged and your soul remembers; it fires up whenever something unjust plays out in front of you. Your soul is the flame, a fire that burns so bright that you are unavoidable especially in the darkness where you shout to the heavens how things should be different. Your soul desires unpredictability and a monotonous life is the complete opposite of what your soul seeks. Do you deserve a good life? it depends on you and no one else. you're the fighter, the warrior, you know you have the power you just need a direction to point it in. You're not afraid to be the thief and conniving villain if someone forces you in that position and your soul reminds you of this, that you hold destruction at your fingertips and also creation. Follow the sight of the unjust and see where your flame takes you. Your love is magical and to powerful that it even hurts you sometimes; you're explosive, a bloom of a different hue; never water it down to fit into the background. Your soul owns the world, do the same.

。°。°。°。°。°

Duplication ❋ ❋

Channeled colors: Bronze, blue, and black

Your soul is liquid fire, molten lava descending from a volcano. Your soul says you know where you're going, stop looking so far ahead that your brilliant mind clouds what is destined. I see a wise old old soul, something I can't even fully understand, but you do, you know it deep in your gut. your soul looks upon you like a child, but a child they feel conflicted by, as if the lessons from the past keep repeating, and the pain follows along. your soul absorbs it all but needs to be channeled properly out through physical action like exercise. Your eyes are powerful, have you heard your eyes are windows to the soul? well your soul is intimidating yet also very loving when given the chance, the energies are so flip flop it makes me believe you might not believe this. Psychic abilities might plague this pile, to the souls who understand take your time and see your tears are not unreasonable but come from a deep knowing, for your deep soul harbors many things for the people its loved and who it will love. Many witches will pick this pile and even if you aren't, you hold a dark kind of magic; not the one on T.V but magic that goes back to instinct, intuition true witchcraft type shit. A compass inside is leading you, but it doesn't mean it's always straight line and it may lead you somewhere unexpected; just know you aren't in the wrong place. Your soul knows you shouldn't rely on your foresight to know what will happen but your will to learn more about the world. your fear may hold you back, but fear isn't the one living with the consequences, you do; so, let your soul exist in the sound of music, the colors of the sky and the love in your heart.

。°。°。°。°。°

Telepathy ⚜

Channeled colors: pink, purple and blue

Your soul sings a melody that is irresistible, seekers of your love or presence will want a taste of your delicious soul. It may sound disturbing, but you feed the sick and lonely, the helpless and the needy. even if you may not like it your soul exists to radiate acceptance and healing, you may even be a sexual healer but that does not apply to everyone because it not even that exactly. If you enjoy music or like to sing or play an instrument, your soul expresses itself through it best; whatever helps you express do it more. Your soul is childish if you aren't, it is. it holds onto the precious things that you held dearly when you were young. your soul leaves room for everyone it can but this can be overwhelming. souls are learning along with us, accept what may be and walk along knowing you know what you need. I feel an excitement for the world, again your soul is young or has a beautiful and youthful understanding of reality that you may not even grasp yet. an innocence that wants to be shared. You are beautiful your soul says, you make me sing louder when you know it. Don't let the song lead you to far away from yourself but let it show you how amazing you are and to grow from there.

。°。°。°。°。°

Healing Factor ❤

Channeled colors: pink, red, yellow

Uh, I'm honored to come in contact with such a powerful soul. Your soul is stuck in the ‘in between’, a place of life and the beyond. It doesn't hate being there though, but you may feel it in different ways. I believe the dream walkers have picked this pile; you guys have some vivid dreams huh? Even if you don’t, your heavy sleepers. your soul is so connected to both sides so when you sleep it does its own thing and just dips into other realities. this may sound cool but I think many people here have physical ailments or issues that it's contributing too (not the cause but it’s contributing, just to emphasis). some of you have heavy mental issues that do not have to stem from trauma but born with it, even if you have been through something your soul carries a wound from your ancestors. i see your soul seeking something, going back ‘home’ and coming back to your body, trying to help you heal or find something to help. Your soul is happy when exploring and going back to ‘home’ its like going back to your roots so maybe that’s a message for some good back to your roots. There is a call from your soul to go back to reality as well and face something with you whatever it may be and accept what is; your strength, your beauty and that fear will not rule here, you’re not alone. you already know a lot about your soul (that’s what I’m hearing) so your personality is probably very aligned with your soul's energy. nice your souls are pretty chill and being the healing pile the vibes do add up.

Decks used: The Wild Unknown Archetypes by, Kim Krans, and The Original Rider Waite Tarot deck

[fuck-customers]

🦈🐘🐩🐇

I absolutely HATE the way customers at work think it’s normal to start guessing my ethnicity. The only time it doesn’t annoy me is if someone genuinely thought I was from the same country as they were. Like when Indian people think I’m Indian it’s okay.

But when a white person or Latino person incorrectly guesses that I’m Indian it makes my fucking blood boil, and then they start making even more wrong guesses. “Are you Persian ? Are you Middle Eastern? Are you Egyptian? Are you Native? Are you from Guatemala?”

No, no, no and no. What’s with the guessing? Why does it even fucking matter?? If I can be frank, it seems like white men & latinos of any gender are SUPER OBSESSED with guessing where people are from. And sometimes they start guessing things that aren’t even countries or ethnicities- like Latino people constantly trying to guess if I’m Jewish or Muslim (two very different things but apparently they’re the same thing to white Latinos because they both have dark hair + big noses)

Some of them have literally confessed into my face “oh it’s the nose and the hair, and your skin tone” Oh so you just confessed to racially profiling me based on my fucking nose.. And not to mention it’s highly racist that they want to act confused that I’m not middle eastern as if only middle eastern people have unique noses.

It’s like they’re basically saying this to me through a series of questions and responses:

wait you’re not middle eastern???? You’re not Jewish???? You’re not from IRAQ?’?!!?,,,, BUT I THOUGHT PEOPLE WITH BLACK HAIR AND BIG NOSES ARE ALL FROM JEWISH AND MIDDLE EAST. MY BRAIN IS BROKEN I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS… WHERE ARE YOU FROM THEN??? YOU MUST BE SOME SORT OF NATIVE PERSON?? NO?? OK THEN YOU MUST BE FROM GUATEMALA BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY LATIN COUNTRY WHERE PEOPLE HAVE SUPER DARK HAIR AND BIG NOSES? AM I RIGHT? DID I GUESS YOUR RACE CORRECTLY? NO??

I guess I’m the only one who was taught by my parents that probing anyone on their ethnic background is fucking rude? It’s also the fact that they are not saying things like “oh you’re so pretty, where are you from?” they are asking me where I am from just point blank. It’s weird.

I know there’s a word for this kind of thing, when people guess your ethnicity based on the size of your head or the shape of your nose.. but it’s 2024 what the fuck is going here? No one should be that stupid to believe only Persians or Guatemalans have big noses. The whole thing is just fucking stupid man.

-Pissed off Cashier xoxo

Posted by admin Rodney

[strniohoeee]

Envious

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader (chubby reader)

Synopsis: Y/N just hates her body, and although the triplets try to make her feel better some hate comments get to her. But Chris is there to make her feel better🫂

Warnings⚠️: None she cute asf or whatever 🤭

Song for the imagine: Jealousy, Jealousy-Olivia Rodrigo

I’m so sick of myself

I’d rather be, rather

Anyone, anyone else

I hated how scrolling through instagram made me feel. Perfect bodies, white teeth, long healthy hair, perfect boyfriends…..just everything I’ve ever wanted. I tried not to fall down this rabbit hole, but it never worked out.

I would scroll and scroll until I felt physically sick. I would then exit out of instagram and stare at myself in the mirror pointing out everything I hated about myself. My skin oily and acne prone, my hair boring, my eyebrows too thin and light, my lips not big enough, my nose huge, my body disgusting. I hated my body with a burning passion.

Curves are good but not my curves. My curves are considered fat and unattractive.My breasts too big, my stomach not flat…bending over and seeing “rolls” God I fucking hated it. My thighs too big, my ass not fat enough….it's brutal. I'm not sure why it mattered what my body looked like. I also wasn’t sure why I cared so much about what people thought of me. I hated it, and I tried to hide myself away and shelter myself from any mean comments.

I tried not to be in the triplets videos because I saw the way some of these “fans” treated Madi, and that girl is perfect….I could only imagine what they would say about me. They even body shamed Chris and it was insane to me. They talked about it in a video saying that body shaming was disgusting and it doesn’t matter what people look like, we're all humans and all our bodies are different. I agreed, but I couldn’t believe these things about myself.

Chris so badly wanted to film a TikTok with me because we both were wearing the same FreshLove shirt, and black pants, and at first I rejected it, but after some convincing I decided to film it with him. I sucked it up and decided to have fun with my friend.

“Okay let’s do the “she wish there were two of me” trend, and like I’ll say it, and then stick my hand out and you’ll slide into frame and high five me” he said

“I love that trend, let’s do it” I said laughing

He set up his phone and started recording, lip syncing

“Walk in that Bih with with that Loui V” he said, and then looked over at me backing away from the camera

“She say she wish there were two of me” he said backing up and high fiving me as I came into frame

We started dancing, and he slung his arm over my shoulder “she fuckin, she know what she doing, B” We sang laughing and dancing

We finished filming and he posted the TikTok. For once I actually wasn’t scared of him posting me because I genuinely felt cute in my outfit today. My FreshLove shirt was cropped and I had my favorite pair of flare leggings on.

“I finally got you to film with me” he said jumping around

“Yeah that's a one time occurrence” I said laughing

“Oh come onnnn so many people want you in more of our videos” he said looking at me

“Yeahhhh, but I don’t know sometimes your guys fans are a little mean” I said looking down

“Yeah well fuck those haters those aren’t fans” he said scoffing

Later on that night Chris, Matt, Nick and I were in their living room playing board games while some random movie played in the background. We were all having a great time until I got a text message, I looked at my phone to see my best friend texting me

My baby🥹

-Hey babes….Im not sure that you’ve seen the comments under Chris video with you, but they’re disgusting and don’t let that shit get to your head

My heart sank immediately, my breathing getting shallow, my throat constricting and my palms getting sweaty. What the fuck is she talking about….

I opened up TikTok and went to Chris' video opening up the comments….my mouth instantly going dry

-“I know she didn’t crop a FreshLove shirt when she’s fat🤣”

-“I hope Chris isn’t dating her, that's actually sad….he must be desperate😗”

-“Why does she think she’s so hot??? Like what am I missing LMFAOOO”

-“oh that’s not- LMFAOO WHAT IS THIS GIRL DOING”

-“makes sense why she isn’t in the video anymore….she really let herself go”

-“Is that Y/N??? When did she gain so much weight??”

These comments made my stomach churn, and my face burn with embarrassment. The one day I feel cute I’m completely torn apart by these so called “fans”

“Chris you have to take that video down of us” I said looking at him

“What?? Why I love it” he said

“Just take it down” I said

“I love that video too don’t delete it” Nick said

“I don’t want it up” I said avoiding eye contact

Matt pulled out his phone to open the video, he opened the comments and immediately his eyes were saddened

“What the fuck” he said scrolling through the comments

Chris snatched the phone from him reading the comments

“This is fucking disgusting….Y/N don’t believe this shit okay” he said looking at me

“How can I not? These are things I see too, and to have your followers point them out is making me feel disgusting” I said

“None of this shit is true okay” Nick said looking at me

“I just want to be left alone right now” I said standing up

I went down to Chris’ room where I would stay when I spent the night. I laid on his bed. Letting the comments replay in my head. My heart racing and my breathing getting deep……I was starting to have anxiety about the comments and slowly I allowed myself to cry

The tears just flowed like a stream. I tried not to let these comments get to me, but it’s hard when people are judging you on the internet and they don’t even know you. I was letting out choked sobs, trying to cover my mouth to control my sobs. This was so unfair.

I heard the door open, so I figured it was Chris. He shut the door behind him, and sat at the end of the bed as I cried

“I know you don’t want to talk and that’s okay, but I want you to listen to me” he said

“I know it’s hard to not believe what people are saying on the internet, trust me I do, but I want you to know that those comments are from a bunch of children being haters okay. None of that shit is true at all. You’re a beautiful, funny and kind souled person” Chris said

I started to calm down, allowing my tears to stop, and trying to control my breathing.

“You don’t have to change for anyone okay. Stay true to yourself. You are amazing and don’t let these haters behind a screen get to you” he said rubbing my leg

“Thank you Chris” I said in a whisper

“Of course Y/N. I’m always here for you” he said smiling at me

I wiped my eyes and began to sit up

“Follow me” he said getting up, I got up and followed him to his bathroom

“What are you doing?” I asked

He walked into the bathroom and turned the lights on

“You’re going to stand in the mirror and look at yourself, you’re going to point out what you find unattractive about yourself, and I’m going to tell you why they’re beautiful” he said standing behind me, and placing me in front of him

“Chris no…” I said looking at him through the mirror

“I’m not letting you leave till you do it” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Ugh fine” I said looking in the mirror, at my swollen eyes, the tears down my face and my lips swollen

“Let’s start with your hair” he said

“I hate it…..it’s boring it’s flat it’s ugly” I said

“Wrong! It’s beautiful. It’s long and shiny and you take the best care of it. It always smells so good” he said looking at me

I just looked at him blushing slightly

“Go on” he said nodding his head

“My eyebrows…they’re so thin and light….and my eyes the color is ugly” I said

“Wrong again! Your eyebrows shape your face beautifully, and your eyes are gorgeous. The way the sun hits them and they sparkle, and the way your lashes are so long and showcase your eyes beauty” he responded

“Do we have to keep going?” I said blushing

“Yes you must” he said

“I hate my lips they aren’t big enough, and I hate my teeth and my smile” I said

“Your lips are pretty. Always glossed, always plump and full. And your teeth….your smile is my favorite thing” he said

“Are you flirting with me?” I said

“I may be” he said giving me a sly smirk

I started to smile and roll my eyes

“Look at that beautiful smile” he said pointing at me

“Chris shut up” I said giggling

“Keep going” he said nodding

“Uhh I hate my boobs they’re too big” I said avoiding eye contact

“Umm I’m going to be careful with my words here, but uhh a real man will never complain about big tits, and I happen to be a real man” he said looking at me making a funny face

“I like how you say you’re going to be careful with your words, and then say some crazy ass shit” I said laughing

“I meannnn I could say something way worse, but I’ll keep that for another time” he said winking

I rolled my eyes at him

“I hate my stomach” I said fidgeting with my hands

“Remember when we went to that museum, and we saw all those sculptures of Aphrodite and those renaissance women and they all had bigger stomachs. Well there was a reason, bigger women were the beauty standard at one point, and the most powerful beautiful women were on the thicker side. I think a woman with meat on her bones is hot. I mean I love all women, but the thicker the better” he said

I just stared at him in awe as I blushed

“Keep going” he said

“I hate my thighs, and the fact that my ass isn’t as fat as it should be” I said

“Let me tell you something, thick thighs save lives, and I live by that okay. The bigger the thighs the better, and so what if you don’t have this crazy huge ass. Your ass is great. I’ll be vulnerable here…I sneak a look any chance I get” he said throwing his hands up in defense

“You creeper” I said laughing

“I can’t help it. When there’s all this woman in my face I just go dumb” he said looking over my body

“You have a way with words” I said sucking my teeth

“It’s all honesty though. Like I said you’re beautiful inside and out, you’re a kind soul, you’re nice, you’re funny, you’re hot….I mean you’re everything a man could want” he said

He came up behind me wrapping his hands around my waist and squeezing me tight, laying his head on shoulder

“Never let anyone tell you otherwise” he said looking at me through the mirror

“Okay” I said in a whisper

“Now give me that beautiful smile” he said pouting

“Shut up Chris” I said laughing

“There it goes!! My favorite” he said smiling with me

He turned me around and pulled me in tighter

“You’re amazing I can’t stress that enough” he said

“Thank you Chris” I responded pulling away from the hug

“Let me take you on a date” he said looking at me

“Okay, yeah I’d like that” I said getting shy

“Don’t get shy on me now Y/N” he said lifting my head up with his chin

“Lets go out tomorrow” he said looking at me

“Sure Chris” I said smiling

He smiled at me before wrapping his arm over my shoulder pulling me in and kissing my cheek

“Now let’s get back to having some fun” he said as we walked out his bathroom and he shut the light off.

We went back up to the living room where we continued to play games and watch movies. These guys were amazing…especially Chris

The End

Alright guys I hope you liked this one 😚 and I honestly think I’m going to open up my requests because I’m all out of ideas as of rn😭 LOVE YALLLL🖤����

-J💅🏽

[foursaints]

I NEEEEEEEDDDD your Regulus Black hcs. What is he like in your head??? Is he a perfectionist???? Is he downright insane?????? Which Sturniolo brother is he????? I need details on EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

omg to start im not really a Regulus Blogger... i love him ofc but hes usually only in the background to my rosekiller. and i love all the regulus characterizations i read (more than my own sometimes tbh)

my controversial take is that my reggie is tall 😔..... he's small growing up but now he's the same height as James. who has a sort of furious, lustful conniption every time he wants to make a snide comment and remembers that The Baby Black is now a perfectly grown 20-something with unimpressed eyes and the world's unfairest aristocratic jawline

he and sirius both have that ethereal, feylike house-black thing going on, except sirius is prettier and more striking and softer and more girlish. like snow white. regulus looks every part the conventional pureblood heir: dark and austerely handsome and fine-boned and patrician. the thickest eyelashes.

undisputed leader of his friend group but not on purpose. reggie sees himself as this unappealing boring loser (the opposite of sirius) but he just has this? ineffable main-character thrall? once he's in your life you just want to die for him

he didnt mean to have the skittles but reggie can't help collecting outcasts & freaks like hes putting easter eggs in a basket. they really love each other but sometimes i see the slytherins as being a far more exaggerated version of the marauders perceived "roles": regulus as james (undisputed leader), barty as sirius (sexy ride-or-die), rosier twins as remus & peter ("nerds" 1 & 2)

very very tender and sensitive. perhaps more so than sirius

my reg is fastidious and organized and ALLEGEDLY an insane compulsive control freak like evan rosier. he has repressed every emotion he's felt for the last two decades under a cooly unbothered facade. except the difference is evan never slips up and regulus is having hysterical meltdowns into $5 chili's bottomless margaritas at least a couple times a month.

like he's eating a pint of ice cream alone in his car scream-sobbing to Since U Been Gone after he broke up with barty for the 800th time. #evanwouldnever

much love and respect to grumpy emo regulus but that is not my reggie... my reg is an posh antisocial City Gay drinking an extra dry martini at a gallery opening on the upper east side and scowling. wearing a fuzzy cream sweater and $800 loafers with no socks. his back hurts and he wants to go home

i fully believe he could survive being dropped in the alaskan wilderness with 0 supplies he just seems like he'd do whatever it takes to Survive etc. just like crafting a spear with the most "it is what it is" look in his eyes. wouldn't even faze him.

my modern au regulus works running one of those little stuffed animal hospitals repairing teddy bears and thats really important to me, personally,

[du-shadowraven]

INK AND WASH AU

Finished the new au design!

(Please excuse my limited writing skills.😂)

*No y/n for this au.

*Feel free to interact if you want! You can choose to interact with the sun and moon by substituting your own y/n.

⚠Please understand that any form of NSFW is prohibited when interacting.⚠

(This au is inspired by the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram.)

World elements: Chinese-style / ancient style / martial arts

Dynasty: Similar to Han Dynasty.

Sun and Moon still share the same body, and their forms can be switched freely. (However, there are restrictions on the conditions of change, daytime is Sun, night is Moon.)

Background story:

"TAIJI BAGUA, with the center of the same circle as the boundary, draw two equal Yin and Yang fish to show the relationship between everything. The Yin fish is black and the Yang fish is white, which is the representation of day and night. Yang fish has a Yin eye on its head, which means that all things are transforming and penetrating each other. There is Yang in Yin, and there is Yin in Yang, and Yin and Yang are compatible and mutually reinforcing."

The ink drips onto the Xuan paper and the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram in the paper creates a ripple. When more ink is spilled on the paper, they quickly merge with the Yin-Yang diagram and then the Yin-Yang diagram starts to split into a black and a white individual, which is the prototype of the moon and the sun, and after they merge again, the Xuan paper extends into a long scroll and the ink in the paper continues to shape the picture......

Finally, the scroll slowly emerges as a painting of the river and the lake in ink, and a new world is created-----a world made of ink.

About Sun:

Sun is a scholar who is also the "Yang" of the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram, and is sometimes followed by white fishes with black eyes, they can be touched and feel smooth as silk........

Sun's body is mainly made of light ink, and the fan he holds in his hand is shaped with his own ink, so he can change its appearance freely.

About his personality: gentle and elegant, treat people sincerely, he will not use any violent means to solve problems. Sun occasionally will have a strong side, he can not tolerate to bully the weak behavior, although Sun is far less dangerous than Moon, but with his "good at words" ability, many of the abusers have been convinced by him.

About Moon:

Moon is the exact opposite of Sun. He is an assassin and the "Yin" of the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram, and is surrounded by black fish with white eyes that cannot be touched and are so corrosive that the slightest touch will cause the wound to decay and a black liquid to flow out. Moon often uses the ink on the black fish to apply poison on the concealed weapon.

Moon's body is mainly made of pine smoke ink. The cold weapons he uses for assassination are daggers, flying knives, and sword thrusts, but for him, any tool can become a weapon, and he can also use his own ink to shape a weapon.

(For example, the sword he carries on his waist.)

About his personality: compared to Sun, Moon is more calm and collected. Moon has always been used to staying in the shadows and observing things around him, but occasionally he has a gentle side: he strokes wild cats in his free time, because he prefers quiet creatures.

About what they have in common: They can also see what's around them through the white and black fish, which is good for Moon, who often conducts assassination operations, and Sun, who often uses them to view the view from high up. (But black and white fish cannot hear sounds.)

[ivanttakethis]

Before Round 18 (Part 2) - Tov’s Log

Onyx (?) vs. Lang (?) -> ??? Win

————————————————————

Sleep did not come easily to Tov.

Just as she feared, a dying Lark haunted her dreams.

She had his face cradled in her hands.

He was looking up at her, smiling softly, and for a moment he wasn’t himself.

His hair was brown and messily braided.

His skin was darker and freckled.

His eyes were green and knowing.

“Congratulations.” Tallis whispered.

Tov awoke with a strangled yell, still wearing her dress and glass heels.

She gave up on sleeping altogether after that.

Two guards came to her door sometime around sunrise.

They said her presence was required for some kind of interview.

Tov knew better than to ask questions.

It never resulted in any answers.

She was granted a few minutes to change, before being led out of the dorm.

The guards took her to the main Alien Stage complex and through a series of underground tunnels; twisting and turning, this way and that. She didn’t even try to keep up with how many lefts or rights they took.

Finally, they reached a heavy black door with a keypad next to the handle.

The guard on Tov’s right entered in a passcode, while the guard on her left obstructed her view.

The keypad made a short beeping noise and the door unlocked with an audible click.

“Inside. And sit down.” One of the guards instructed.

She shuffled into the room and sat in the metal chair closest to the door.

There was a metal table in front of her and an identical chair on the other side. Fluorescent lights lined the ceiling. The walls were white and bare.

The door shut firm behind them, locking in place.

Tov was all alone.

She wondered if this was how isolation felt. It wasn’t padded and there was some furniture, but it was quiet and windowless, with no way to keep track of time.

After an unknown amount of time, the keypad beeped, the lock clicked, and the door swung open again.

Tov looked up to see two AREPH agents enter the room. She immediately recognized one of them as Agent Pol, the same agent that interviewed her after Solei disappeared.

Agent Pol walked in with a determined look pinched in her brows, her eyes set behind black sunglasses.

But the other agent, taller with a bulkier build, looked hesitant.

“Hello, Tov.” Agent Pol said her name like a curse. “I’m Agent Pol from the AREPH. Do you remember me?”

Tov nodded.

“Good, that makes things easier. This is my partner, Agent Irin.” She said gesturing to the other agent.

“Hello.” Agent Irin nodded. He looked to be sweating under the bright lights.

Agent Pol took the chair across from her while Agent Irin remained standing, tense in his shoulders and stance.

“We have a few questions about what happened to Subject-012864.” She said.

“Lark.” Agent Irin added.

Tov already knew Lark’s identification number. She knew all of her classmates’ identification numbers.

“Let’s start with some background. Did you know Lark well?” She said his name like a curse too.

Tov shook her head. “No.”

They’d only interacted a handful of times in Anakt Garden. She couldn’t remember them speaking at all during the competition before their round.

“Do you know who he associated with?”

“Noora.” Tov said immediately. She knew there was something or other between them.

She couldn’t imagine how Noora felt now that Lark was dead.

I should say something next time I see her. Maybe I could apologize?

Aside from Noora, Tov couldn’t remember who else Lark spent time with. “I don’t know of anyone beyond that.”

Agent Pol scribbled something down in her notebook, writing in a language Tov couldn’t read. Likely on purpose.

“The day of your round, when did you see Lark?” She asked.

“I saw him first at breakfast, but we didn’t sit at the same table.” Tov recalled. “After that, I didn’t see him again until right before the round started. We left our dressing rooms at the same time and walked to the stage together.”

More writing.

“And what was his condition like when you saw him before the round?”

Tov wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to forget it. Those hazy golden eyes were burned into the back of her mind.

“He was… sweating… and his eyes were unfocused.” She said.

Agent Pol raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t think to say anything?”

The question hit Tov like a punch to the gut. Her eyes started to sting again.

I’ve asked myself the same thing so many times.

I still don’t have an answer.

Agent Irin sighed wearily, “Agent Pol…”

“I’ll withdraw the question.” Agent Pol said, her words clipped. “Let’s get to the reason we’re here then, shall we?”

Her smile was sharp. Tov resisted the urge to narrow her eyes.

What’s this all about then?

“The AREPH has opened an investigation into Lark’s death.” She said. “Although we’ll have to wait for a full toxicology report, his preliminary autopsy suggests he was poisoned.”

What the—

“Poisoned?” Tov echoed, bordering on disbelief.

“Yes. We believe he was poisoned.”

No.

No no no no no.

How could this have happened?

We’ve been watched like hawks since Round 15.

Was it a guard?

A member of production?

Another contestant?

Tov mentally shook her head at the last thought.

No, that couldn’t be it.

Lark was docile. Harmless.

But what if Lark wasn’t the intended target?

What if it was me?

She sucked in a breath, a sinking feeling blooming in her stomach.

What if Lark died because someone wanted to kill me?

“—Tov?” Agent Irin called.

Tov stumbled out of her thought spiral, looking between the two agents, “Yes?”

“Agent Pol asked you a question.” He said. She could hear a tinge of concern in his voice.

Tov looked back at the other agent who was already lookin at her. She could feel the weight of her scrutinizing gaze, even behind her glasses.

“I asked if there were any of your classmates that could’ve wanted to harm Lark.” She said.

No one came to mind. Not even Daiki.

For as much as Tov was loath to admit it, Daiki was a strong singer. Lark wasn’t a threat to her.

“No.” She answered, sure for once that she was right.

“I assume that includes you?”

Tov furrowed her eyebrows, “I beg your pardon?”

She tried her best not to sound indignant, but the question was asinine at best and insulting at worst.

There was no way Agent Pol just asked her if she wanted to hurt Lark.

Tov hadn’t seen footage from Round 17, but she probably looked like a fucking mess after he collapsed.

He practically died in her arms and she was asking if Tov was the reason he did.

“Were you confident that you could beat Lark?”

Ah, that was it.

She wanted Tov to say she was better than him. More talented. More worthy of living.

Tov wasn’t going to play that game.

“You saw the scores.” She said in lieu of a concrete answer.

Agent Pol’s forehead wrinkled briefly, before smoothing out as if nothing had happened.

“Answer the question.” She pressed.

Agent Irin interrupted, “You don’t have to—”

“She does.” Agent Pol cut him off, not breaking eye contact. “And she will.”

They were at an impasse, neither side wanting to concede.

But only one would be punished for it.

Tov couldn’t afford that. She couldn’t be isolated when Nyx was performing.

What if he needs me and I’m not there?

She set her jaw, muttering through gritted teeth, “Yes.”

It felt horrible to even say.

But Tov knew she’d be called a liar if she said no.

77 - 22

69 - 31

They weren’t rounds won by slight margins.

There was a reason everyone kept calling her the “Star of Season 39”.

She hated it.

She hated it more than anything.

Minori… Lark… Forgive me…

The room fell silent while Agent Pol wrote. The growing length of her paragraph mocked Tov.

She wished her glare could burn a hole through the paper.

“What about that other contestant your close to… Himei?” The way Agent Pol said her name almost made Tov’s eye twitch. “Is she confident in your ability to win?”

She thinks Himei had something to do with this?

Not possible.

Himei wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. And Lark didn’t deserve it.

Tov didn’t hesitate to answer, “Himei knows I can win.”

Her tone left no room for further discussion. She was tired of the agent’s bullshit tactics.

Agent Pol seemed to find her response amusing. It set Tov’s nerves on edge.

“Very well,” she said, closing her notebook. “That’s all for now.”

For now? Oh joy.

Tov looked to Agent Irin, “Am I free to go?” She asked.

The agent seemed surprised by being addressed directly, startling at her question. “Uh, yes—” He straightened his posture, “There should be a guard outside to take you back to your room. Follow me.”

Agent Irin entered a passcode into the keypad and the door unlocked.

Tov rose from her chair to follow him out, but Agent Pol spoke again before she could.

“You should know, for the time being, every contestant will be restricted to their dorm rooms.” She said. “Any and all interaction is prohibited. Punishment for those who disobey will be severe.”

Tov simply nodded and followed after Agent Irin.

Divide and conquer. She thought as the door closed behind her.

They’re trying to make someone crack.

————————————————————

Tov dreaming about Tallis, but not in the way she wanted 😔

Lark and Tallis are so similar that Tov’s unconscious is melding together the grief she feels about each of them.

And with the new restrictions, there’s no way for Tov to talk to Noora about Lark before her round. It’s a repeat of Flor and Minori all over again.

She can’t even call Wren now, probably when she needs encouragement the most *deep sigh*

Wren: “Just hang in there.”

Tov: “I’m really fucking trying, girl.”

Lark and Noora belong to @kamersona.

Tallis and Himei belong to @lookatmysillies.

Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Minori belongs to @minori-dash.

Daiki belongs to @daiki1k.

[niuniente]

Sorry if this is too much to ask! But do you ever think you to do a quick drawing tutorial? Or like, what brushes you use, the canvas size you usually use, and what you think may help besides "draw and practice every day" (because while that is solid advice I am curious about your thoughts)

I have little bits here and there but a one big info package sounds good :3 My way of working is a bit chaotic compared to (most?) many artists lol.

I use Fire Alpaca and my drawing tabled it XP Pen Artist 13.3 Pro (SUPER RECOMMENDED!!). My drawing canvas is 5555 x 7777 pixels wide. I like to draw in big sizes as when you resize an image smaller, its quality becomes better. Thus, I can draw extremely messy stuff and it still looks nice when resized. Because of this messiness and big canvas, I can sometimes draw with my non-dominant hand, too, and it still looks fine!

See here for more examples of how messy my stuff is before resizing!

I don't use any fancy brushes. My way of drawing digitally is to mimic traditional medium drawing as much as possible. The less the program does things for me, the better!

I use just the ordinary Fire Alpaca brush. I have no set size for the brush but I change it based on what I need - anything from 18pxl to 38 pxls. I think the average is around 24-26pxls. I have anti-aliasing on and my stabilizer is set to 33 (Global setting).

For a bucket, my settings are the following: Tolerance 27, Anti-aliasing on and expand on 1 (albeit I edit this one if needed).

For texture, I can use a Flat brush (you see this in blood a lot). I have a few round brushes for chains and other small details but I use them so rarely it really doesn't even count. For front views, I enjoy using Symmetry brush.

I use lots and lots of references! The best thing with references is that when you repeat a same thing with a reference, you will eventually learn how to draw it without one. References are every artist's friends! Always, always, always go for a reference and don't hesitate to trace stuff to learn and figure basic shapes for your stuff. (But trace other people art privately for learning purposes only, as everyone draws and paints with different lines and strokes)

I generally draw with a free hand without sketching, unless the pose is difficult. I always draw a head on its own layer so that I don't have to worry is the body right size to the head. I can edit both freely when they are on their individual layers. For layers, I use only multiply if needed.

Here's a video of my typical drawing process with a free hand (sped up). If the above link doesn't work, go here. You'll find more tagged as #niu_video

WHAT ELSE?

（￣︶￣）↗　Here's a tutorial how I draw white lines on black

（￣︶￣）↗　Here's a tutorial how I edit photos to black and white backgrounds

（￣︶￣）↗ Here's my Youtube channel with a video of how I use references. There are more examples on my Patreon in wip-folder.

[eltanin0]

I just found this blog and I noticed that a lot of your stuff seems, well, oddly 3D. I don't mean like in a bad way but it feels like rendered but untextured 3D models? I kinda want to ask what your art process is (sorry for mini-rant)

thanks for checking out my blog! and no need to apologize for anything.

hmm, my art process. honestly i have no idea what to say, i dont know how people normally answer this question so i cant base it off anything either. i'm still kinda new to this whole art thing but i'll try and answer, super sorry if i get this completely wrong and this was all a waste of time.

i guess i'll just talk about how i draw things step by step? for the high effort pieces at least.

ok, so for starters like step 0. when it's a high effort piece, i can already see the image in my mind. i see the pose, i see the general lighting, the layout of stuff, but it's a bit blurry. if i cant see this mental image, the drawing usually comes out extremely poorly.

this is kind of an example of what i see in my head? this might be all useless info idk, but this is i guess where i start.

well step 1 is just the sketch and line. i start with just sketching the general shapes, then slowly refining it until it fits close enough to the image in my head. then in the line layer i'll fix any mistakes the sketch had and add more details to it. oh and for brush, it's just a round brush, like default. i dont know how much of a difference using a drawing tablet does, but i dont use one so... yeah.

i should've put more effort into the sketch for this drawing, but i did not.

next i do flat colors. pretty simple, i just select the smart select the outside of the line layer, invert the selection and now i can't paint outside the lines. i dont really think about what colors i use, i just use whatever the characters normal colors are.

next i do the shading, but first. i duplicate flat layer and recolor it to like a cream color

like so. for high effort pieces, i was told online to shade in pretty much black and white. now actually onto shading. there's 2 kinda shading i do, 1 from the proper light source, and 1 that's kinda just a shadow because things are close together (like corners and stuff). and i'll shade them on separate layers so i can adjust them individually however i want. oh right, i'll either use a very dark color, pretty much black and the the layer blending mode set to multiply. or i'll use a light kind of gray, tinted slightly yellow or something and set the layer blend mode to difference. then i just use a soft air brush and shade in the ways i described above. shading from regular light source, and the corner stuff thing.

normal lightsource - - - - - corner thing

then toggle both layers on and mess with the opacity of each layer until you get what you want.

then you can toggle the normal flats layer, the one that has color and it should apply the shading decently. you can mess with the opacity again on the shadows.

next i do lighting. i just grab a very light color, usually pretty close to white and set the layer blend mode to overlay. then i use a soft airbrush and "light" it? idk i just do like the opposite of the normal shadows, lighter the closer it is to the light source

mess around with the opacity as usual. then i do pretty much the same thing if there's another light source. in this case there was a blue light kinda coming from underneath, so i did that.

now from here i would go back to the flats layer, make a copy, and mess around with different layer styles and properties and settings. sometimes just messing around is useful. in this case, i felt it was too bright and colorful, so i decreased the brightness and saturation of it.

i think it helped a little bit but who knows.

now i do some kinda highlights and details. i grabbed the colors that were in the background and used those. it was a weird pale blue. i had 2 layers for this, 1 of them was specifically for his antenna things at the top, and one was just for his "skin". anyway, the antenna layer was normal, just kinda gave it an outline with the random reflective circles you see normally in pictures, no thoughts behind them. the skin tho had the layer blend mode set to soft light, i thought it looked best this way. it was just more random things to imply it was slightly reflective.

together the layers looked like this. i think it makes him look glossier which is what i was aiming for.

next, and it pretty much the end for pebbles, i got someone to look at it and let me know if they think anything was missing. they said it looked a little unsaturated. which it does. so i made a new layer, set the blend mode to saturation, grabbed the airbrush and made it pretty inline with the lighting layer.

that's kinda it. the background i didnt really care about, just drew and colored it. blurred it a bunch and added a bunch of shadows. i did add some like, "overshadows" is what i call it, i just draw some big shadows down the screen as the top layer.

but yeah thats literally everything i did to draw this. i would like to apologize if this was not at all what you wanted to know, i'm certain i've screwed this up bigtime. super sorry for wasting your time. if there's anything i can do to help, please ask. i owe you a proper answer to your question, i'm just really dumb. sorry for rambling. sorry. and sorry if the drawing i used for example didnt showcase what you wanted to know.

also, i really like your art! please keep up the great work!

[snek-panini]

I'm trying to get the last of my Binderary projects posted, so today we have books #8 and 9, Fault Lines by Marabelle123. This is a long canon compliant Good Omens fic (pre-second season) that I've had on my to-bind list since I started making books three years ago. It's unfinished and had its most recent update in early 2020, but based on how the existing story feels I'm fairly sure it was close to the end and feels complete enough to be satisfying. It's very in character and captures a lot of the specific feeling from the pre-miniseries fandom, that the relationship between the leads defies all definition. They're as close as it's possible to be and their relationship has teeth sometimes but their bond is as undefinable as it is unbreakable. Give it a read if that sounds like your thing; it's excellent.

The cover for this one is made of two colors of faux leather, cut at a diagonal with no overlap, with the title in silver foil htv. I've never done a cover like this before but I'm in love with the result. It feels very sleek and sexy and modern compared to the more vintage elements I usually favor. And I didn't have enough of either leather to do two full books, but I still wanted to use them and have the volumes match. I think it was an elegant solution.

More pics under the cut! I tried some new stuff with this one.

You may have noticed above that this is a Coptic bind, my favorite for unfinished fics because of the "out" option it leaves. If the author ever returns to it and posts more chapters it would be fairly easy to take out the stitching and add more signatures. I still stand by this motivation, but after a silence of four years and no response from the author when I reached out for permission to bind it I'm reasonably sure this is it for the story. That let me try out some stuff I'd be reluctant to do if I was planning to add pages. Have a look at the spines:

Sadly I couldn't make the page count work with a single volume, since you can't do much to mitigate spine swell in a Coptic bind, but the volume split let me do some long stitches in the center that look like wings. There are plot-relevant feathers in the fic, so it's fitting. I thought of sewing one of them in white for that sweet Good Omens balance feeling, but I didn't think it would pop against the white paper and would leave the set looking unbalanced so I stuck with black on both. To get the pattern right I cut out a wing shape the same width as the spine and traced it and poked holes for the outline, then flipped it for the second volume so they'd be mirrored. You can also see that I did something different at the head and tail, more visible here:

This is a Coptic endband. I found out these existed a couple of months ago and absolutely had to try them. They're woven into the signatures and cover with a separate thread, after the rest of the stitching is done, and they're supposed to add some stability to the wiggly spine that you always get with these books. Unlike other types of endband, they don't have a core. I had a lot of trouble with them and had to pull out the first one and redo it with a different thread (embroidery floss is better than crochet thread for this) but I have no regrets about the finished product. They do stabilize the spine some, though not as much as I'd have liked. I really like how they (and the longstitch section) dress up a Coptic spine. I've always thought the plain ones were a little lackluster for how much work they are, but I love all the texture and interest this one has. Would absolutely not do black on black again though. Very hard to keep track of which thread I was supposed to sew under against a black background. I'll be using a contrasting color next time.

Interior photos. The doublure on the inside of the cover is a striped lokta (I think; it's been a while since I bought it). The title page image is a free-to-use image that I found on I think Vecteezy. Unsurprisingly, given its title, a big theme in this one is underlying cracks and misalignments that the characters don't realize are there until there's a massive disturbance, and that's why I had the text on both the title page and the cover not line up. Things are slipping, things are cracking, and there's extra work to be done on both sides if you're going to stabilize or rebuild. Comparatively, the typeset is quite plain and simple, with only two fonts, no chapter header image, and no section break images unless the break falls on the last line of a page, in which case there's one gray line. I think it's well-suited to the story; there is a bit with an illuminated manuscript, but mostly the characters are busy introspecting in between managing crises. They don't have the time or the energy to dress things up prettily.

And that's it on Fault Lines! As I mentioned earlier, I reached out to the author on Ao3 for permission to bind but never received a response, so I really hope they don't mind that I made these. I love their fic, and I love the bind I made.

[marvelandsuchstuff]

Late Night Storms

Author's note: Listen, I was in an interesting place last night when I decided I need to write a 5k word smut for a charecter that only appers in like 2 episodes (when he was alive) of a show I watched in november… once. I know, I know - what the fuck? I think after hours of looking for more fics to read, I just decided I could do it. So here we are - also thank my friend who told me to post it, because I wasn’t gonna. Let me know what you think. Both Rowan and the reader are 18.

Warnings: Smut, thunderstorms, darkness, subspace (and kinda a drop-ish), Dom!Rowan x Fem!Reader (He gives me switch vibes) 18+ please

Word Count: 5.4k

Read on AO3

_______

Clouds up above chucked down rain in ample measure. The Dorm window was covered by the droplets racing down. Yoko, my roommate, sat with pen in hand by the window, looking out at the storm across the courtyard. As far as I could tell, the storm was only getting worse with the wind howling in the background, fuck. 

I liked the rain, hell I loved dancing in it - but storms, while being in a 3-century-old castle? Not my favourite I will admit. I had situated myself under my sheets, clambering onto my phone, trying to get a signal.  

“The cell line must have been hit, and the wifi is gone,” I said to Yoko, popping my head out just slightly 

“I wouldn't be surprised, it’s howling,” She replied, still staring out the window in awe. 

I sighed in frustration, great. There goes my plan to distract myself. I sit up and shuffle to grab a book, and that’s when it happens. 

All the lights flicker simultaneously, a telltale sign that power is about to go also, which I don’t think would help the current situation. I return to my spot under my bed, to which Yoko laughs, but it doesn't help much. I needed to leave before it got much worse.

Just my luck, at that moment the lights flicker on and off again before completely short-circuiting. Pitch black wasn’t my best friend unlike a certain Wednesday Addams, another reason to get out of here.

Yoko must have thought the same thing was about to happen because, in a few moments, the pitch black was illuminated by a strong torch that she had near her leg. It was strong enough to shine through the white blanket I was under, which I was thankful for.

I heard footsteps approach my bed, which made me jump slightly, but I quickly realised it was probably just Yoko coming to check on me. I peeked my head out slightly and saw her above me, smirking a bit. 

“You know you’ll be fine right?” she questioned, sitting down at the end of my bed. I curled my legs into myself as I pulled myself up to the headboard. I knew she meant no harm but it was instinctual from my home life. That was also the reason I hated storms… but I really don't want to think about that. 

“I know,” I reply kinda quietly to try and ease her worry for me. 

She gave me a kind smile back, and we kinda just sat there in silence with the thunder roaring over us. Every once in a while, lightning hit and I jumped, She grabbed my hand to calm me down the first time and kept it there. Tears stained my face as they slowly seeped out in 

After one really loud roll of thunder, a glimmer of an idea hit her as if lightning had personally struck her, “Do you think you’d be up to going to see Rowan? Not that I don't want you here of course but he can probably help you more”

Yoko was right, Rowan knew me better than anyone else, even myself sometimes. We’d been together for almost 2 years now, which was rare for a school relationship but somehow we just fit. He’d know how to help. 

“Ye-yeah” I stuttered, one problem, “but I can’t walk alone, I’ll probably end up in a ball somewhere, and Weems would find me and I’ll get in trouble."

“I wasn’t suggesting you walk alone,” she replied, “I’ll come with you to the dorm hall, all you got to do is walk down the hall, okay?”

All I had to do was the hall? That sounded reasonable, I replied “Ok, sounds go-good.”

So Yoko tugged me out of bed, and hesitantly I let her guide me. We grabbed our coats and were about to head off when I asked, “you’ll be ok coming back won’t you?”

She turned to me and stated “I have other plans, don’t worry.”

Ok then. 

---

When I got to the dorm hall, it was well past curfew and I knew I’d be in deep with Weems if you got caught again. She didn’t exactly like the late-night meetings or being dragged out of bed at midnight to deal with us. However, I was here now and it was useless going back to curling up under my sheets. 

Yoko had said her goodnights as she left me alone to wander to Rowan's room. The hall wasn't scary per se, but the few candles that lit the space were dull, so it was once again dark. 

I knocked on the dorm door, hoping it was quiet enough as to not be heard by anyone else but the people inside. Oh shit, I hope Xavier, his roommate, isn’t here to watch this meltdown, but it was too late now. Thankfully, light footsteps approached the other side and the door was pulled open slowly, obviously not expecting anyone at this hour.

Soft brown eyes greeted me, along with a smile as soon as Rowan registered who it was. His brown hair fell perfectly and his glasses frame his face really nicely in this light. However, the sweet smile faded as soon as he saw the state I was in. Realising there must still be tear stains covering my face, I went quickly to wipe my face but he was quicker to pull me into him.

Rowan pulled me farther into his room and the door shut behind us quietly. I don’t know how long we stood there, but it was long enough for my cries to turn into soft sniffles while Rowan kissed my head. 

“Do you want to go sit?” he asked softly. I looked up at him and nodded slowly, immediately he replied, “ok sweetheart.” 

Rowan helps me remove my wet coat along with my shoes, which he places at the foot of his bed. As soon as he does, I’m straight back in his arms. We shuffled over to the bed, which might I say is not as easy as it sounds when you’re in someone’s arms and they’re unwilling to release you. Which is cute in itself but isn't very practical. 

When we got onto the twin bed, Rowan situated himself under me so that I could just lay on him, which I was grateful for. An arm remained warped around me tightly, while the other traced down my back, which made me squirm just a tiny bit and he chuckled. Another kiss landed atop my head which I gave a small smile.

“There’s my girl, I was wondering where she went” Rowan whispered with a smile. 

“I’m here,” I giggle, looking up at him and then immediately turning away shyly to blush. How did I get so lucky? 

“If you’re here baby, can I see your face?” he replied as he caught my cheek with his thumb. I let him guide me back to his gorgeous eyes and kind smile. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” I whispered, he didn't have to ask but it was cute that he did. My lips met his, soft and sweet, very much him. I giggled a bit, biting my cheek, he tugged on my lip slightly. It was just us at that moment, and it felt so good.

Rowan pulled with a kiss on the cheek, and reached for his inhaler, mumbling something along the lines of “curse you asthma” as he did. My head returned to the comfy spot on his chest, catching my breath as well. 

We were like that for a while, it just felt right. 

“Hey, where’s Xavier?” I asked curiously as to why we weren’t getting annoyed groans in our general vicinity, not that I wasn’t happy about that fact.

He chuckles back, “I can’t believe that’s what you are worried about,”

“I’m definitely not, just seemed strange coming in here with no push back,” I replied 

This, once again made Rowan laugh and whisper semi-seductively, “I can give you pushback if that’s what you want baby,”

This just made me bury my face in his chest in embarrassment, he was so slight with it sometimes and he always knew it worked, hence the endless teasing. Pulling me closer to him, I forget how strong he is sometimes, even though most people don’t tend to notice. 

“I believe he’s at some party with Bianca and co,” he added. Oh, that’s where Yoko was off to then. She probably felt bad for leaving me alone and knowing parties aren't really my thing, decided it would be unfair to ask of me. Rowan took a deep breath and hesitantly asked, “are you alright now?”

“Yeah, just the-” I replied, pointing upwards and waving my finger around as if that was a word replacement. 

“Storm” he added, “I’m sorry I didn’t come to get you sooner, I know how much you hate them, I was caught up in an assignment.”

I shook my head, “No, no, no, it’s not your fault or your job for that mat-”

“It most definitely is my job” he cut me off but that just garnered me to shake my head more, “Uh huh, yes it is”

“Not”

“Is, I don’t like seeing you like you were when I opened the door, you’re breaking my heart baby” Rowan reacts a bit of unusual sourness to his voice.

I hug him even tighter, he’s so unbelievably good to me, I just whisper “I’m sorry, I couldn’t get a hold of you, the cell tower went down”

He takes a deep breath and smiles gently, “Stop apologizing for stuff you can’t control”

“Right back at you” I laugh, “but we got here and we’re good, aren't we?”

“We’re so good right now sweetheart” Rowan replies, laughing a bit too.

---

We lay there for a while longer, just content with how we were. Thunder rolling over the night sky and the sounds of rain out the window - it wasn’t that bad now that I was in his arms, my own personal shield from the elements. It was at this moment I realized Rowan’s room was illuminated by candles of all kinds, it was really romantic for a school dorm.

“I like your candles” I comment, lifting my head to look around the room.

“I had them saved for a special occasion” he replied with a glimmer of mischievous, “But this works too,”

I think for a moment… it would take my mind off the storm, that’s for sure. So I replied sweetly “Who said we couldn’t use them for a special occasion?”

Rowan looked down at me with a mischievous glint glowing in his eye, “Are you sure you want that tonight sweetheart?”

I nod into him.

“I need words please” He stated sternly but with a smile. Rowan was, um, rough when he was in control, we had rules set out so neither one of us could get actually hurt and we both felt safe.

One of them was that we had to give explicit consent to the other whenever we were controlling the scene, so I obliged, “Yes, I want this”

“Ok, you know your rules and your safe words, anytime you want out-” He affirmed.

“I just have to say, I got it. '' I cut off, Rowan was always so careful to make sure I was comfortable with what was about to happen and I did the same for him when I was in control as well. We worked well in that way. 

“Can I see your pretty face again?” he asked as his thumb drew to my cheek and turned my head once again. He lent down to initiate the kiss, and soft lips enveloped mine once again, I swear I could live here forever. 

As the kiss grew deeper, I climbed on top of Rowan to get a better angle. This wasn’t any use though, because as soon as I was in the right position, strong hands gripped my sides and flipped my entire body. Now, Rowan had the upper hand on top and the only thing in his way was his glasses.

When we came up for air, Rowan hovered over me, looking amazing as he did so. He leaned over to his side table and removed his glasses while also going for a quick puff of his inhaler. I could be content between his legs forever. 

However, that quickly drew to a close when he returned his attention back to me, lowering himself onto his forearms to meet me. He gave a quick peck to my lips and slowly made his way down to my neck, sucking enough to leave bruises. 

I moaned loudly when he got to a really sensitive spot, to which he responded by coving my mouth to try to muffle the sounds. He knew this was ok, 3 taps to get out if I needed, and my hands were free to rummage through his hair. He came to a halt after a really loud moan, commenting “Hey baby, you gotta stay quiet for me, ok? I don’t want people down the hall hearing us”

I nodded and tapped him 2 times, meaning ok. He smiled up at me and whispered “Good girl,”

He slowly attached himself to my neck again, moving further down as he did - It felt so fucking good. When he got to the hem of my shirt, he looked at me with his soft eyes, once again asking permission. I nodded and pulled on my shirt to lift it over my arms. It got discarded and thrown on the dorm floor along with Rowan’s sweater.

I pulled on his tie to connect our lips again, I needed him to be close. He sunk his lips into mine, using the height he had to overpower me and battle me into submission. The tie he had on was wrapped in my hands as I tried to remove it but was making me frustrated. Rowan caught on pretty quick and decided to peel off my lips and loosen them to pull off. 

Once he had it in his hands, I stared at it for a brief moment - could I ask him to just maybe? I mean we’ve done it before and he certainly loves it. I think Rowan must’ve noticed because he says “if you want something, you’ve got to use your words”

Fuck. I was definitely caught, I sigh and very quickly ask, “Could you, um maybe, tie me up please”

He laughs a bit and I must turn bright red from embarrassment. He replies, “Can you say that again?”

I let out another sigh, so this is how it’s going to be. I try to curl into myself to hide but Rowan’s on it already, trapping my hands by his sides. I give in and ask again slower, “can you tie me up with your tie, please?”

He smiles and responds “Please, what?”

Catching his drift, I know what Rowan wants and he knows what it does to me. It’s also comforting in a way, to give him complete control over me. So I reply, “please, sir”.

“Good girl,” he praises with a kiss on my forehead, “I’ve got you.” 

I believe him completely, I trust him like nobody else. He slowly takes his tie and makes sure it is knotted around his bed frame while I lift my hand to meet him. He gently secures them in and I pull to make sure they’re tight enough.

“Ok,” Rowan comments, “You’ve got to make sure you’re quiet because I can’t cover your mouth”

“Yes, sir.” I reply quickly. He smiles down at me and scans my body underneath him.

He grabs behind me, undoing the clasp of my bra, along with the straps that hold it in place. He stares at my boobs for a good 10 seconds before doing anything else. Cute. 

“Do you like what you see?” I ask, smiling up at him, wiggling around to make them bounce a bit 

“Uh- ye-yea-yeah” He stutters for a second, reminding me that my cute nerdy-ass boyfriend is still under there. He coughs and grabs his inhaler - which makes me burst out laughing. He returns to me with a stern look, to which I quiet down to a giggle, but he just shakes his head. 

“You’re really cute y'know” I state 

He smiles at me, “Thanks, I guarantee you won't be saying that once I’m inside you though”

That just makes me turn red again, and he is the one laughing this time. Rowan makes his way down to my tits with kisses and then down even father to the top of my sweats. He looks back up at me for final confirmation, to which I nod.

“Words,” he reminds me.

“Yes, sir.” I respond softly, I need him to do something, anything at this point.

With that, he hooks his fingers under the soft cotton of my sweats and underwear and pulls them down in one fell swoop. The cold air hits me like a wave and I curl up - but as always Rowan is there to pin me down. He grabs my thighs and spreads them open for him to see.

“You’re so pretty,” He expresses with a smile. I go pink at the compliment - I can’t believe he’s mine. He lowers himself down to meet my pussy and starts sucking on my clit like there’s no tomorrow. I whine from not being about to do much or touch him but I suppress myself when he flicks his eyes to me, telling me to stop. He grips my thighs tighter as he delves in more. 

I am beginning to reach my climax and do you want to know what he does next? He stops like fully comes off me. I moan out from the loss of contact and writhe around trying to get any friction from anywhere.

“Shhh,” he states, “I got you, I got you.”

Rowan takes his hands from under me and pins me down till I stop.

“Why?” I whine in my haze - Rowans is not one to not make me finish that's for sure. 

“I promise it will make it ten times better when you do cum - I promise,” he whispers to me, “I also need to be inside you.”

I look up at him, hazy, already dipping into subspace from the stimulation and the emotions from before. At that moment, I realize he’s basically fully clothed and I… well I’m not at all.

“Hey, how is this clothing situation fair?” I ask lightly. He looks down at himself and then back up at me.

“You’re right, this is no good,” he replies and shuffles off the bed toward his wardrobe. I cry even more from the loss of complete contact, which catches Rowan off guard. He returns to my side, squatting down beside the bed and losing the tie so I can reach out for him. He takes my hand, kisses the knuckles, and says “I’m right here ok, right here - can you tell me your colour?”

I smile small, “green, I’m ok, it's just a lot.” 

“Alright,” he replies, still holding my hand in one of his while the other unbuttons the shirt he has on, “I’m just going to go put my clothes on my chair, ok?”

Two taps for ok and he kisses my head again. Shuffling over to his desk he takes his shirt and his trousers off, god he’s so beautiful. He comes back over as soon as he’s done, fully unclothed, kneeling down on the bed to meet me. 

“No changes since last time?” Rowan asked sweetly. Right, birth control and all that jazz.

I smile and shake my head, “No, sir.”

“Ok, you ready?” he asks, lining himself up with me. 

“Yes, please sir,” I practically moan out. He pushes in, he’s big so it's quite an experience - always the quiet ones. Once he is fully in, we connect lips again, pushing down on my tongue. 

At first, we remain like that, just letting us get used to each other. Rowan breaks the kiss, and asks “are you ok to move?”

I nod “Yes.”  

That's when he starts thrusting softly in and out of me, first, he is calm and collected. He keeps a solid pace, slightly wimping when our hips met and kissing me all over. I bite my lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure. I jut my hips to meet his, becoming full once again.

Rowan increased his pace as my hands tangled in his hair. If there was one thing this boy did know how to do, it was knowing exactly where to hit to stimulate me in the most insane ways. He found a sweet spot and hit it over and over and over so that it felt just right.

He was also not averse to using his abilities to enhance the experience. Using his mental ability to stimulate my clit without having to move his hands from mine was truly amazing. He was skilled at it, that’s for sure. It was an interesting feeling to have all your nerve endings stimulated at once to give you pleasure. 

Still pretty sensitive from before, like Rowan said I would be, aided me to get closer to the edge. This combined with the stimulation from his cock, sent me writhing pretty quickly. Wiggling and shaking around - I couldn’t help it, it felt so amazing. He kept his hands in mine, pinning them down so I didn't become too hard to control under his touch.

“Come on sweetheart,” he uttered, with even harder strokes which had me unable to control my moans anymore. 

“Plea-Please,” I breathed out shakily, I was so close. 

With one final slow thrust, the euphoric high of release overcame me. Fuck me. My brain fully went at this point, it wasn’t the most intense thing we’d done but I think it was the high emotions and the overall just sent me over the edge. It felt really fucking good. 

Rowan continued to up his pace, both with his mind and him inside me. He allowed my senses to overstimulate me and send me even higher. It made me whine “Fuck”

“I know, I know, but you can give me one more yeah?” he asserted - he was clearly trying to be the death of me. 

I could barely function, let alone speak but with a last bit of energy I managed out a quick breathy “Yes, sir”

He gave a nod in agreement and his thumb gently slide down my cheek, “Such a good girl for me”

He slammed himself into me, making me cry out in pleas. My neck became nothing more than something for Rowan to bury himself into while giving me hickeys which would definitely show tomorrow. I could feel the bruises being formed by his lips as he pulled the sensitive spot by the collarbone. 

I tried to buck my hips up to meet his, key word tried. It was more of a half-hearted attempt to bring me back to the situation but there was no hope. I was completely gone, the only thing that mattered was Rowan, the gorgeous boy in front of me. I was determined to bring him into the highest plane of euphoria, so I kept tightening around him and hoping he’s come along with me. 

Luckily for me, Rowan caught on pretty quickly with long strokes, holding on to me to gain pleasure. Faster and harder than before, he finished with a few final thrusts and cumming inside me, which also did me over. The high brought me even closer to the clouds than before. 

Rowan also seemed completely gone for a few moments, seeing the stars as he called it. He layed on top of me for a while, kissing me and my body lazily, just coming down from that high. I played with his hair for a bit, to which he hummed softly. He allowed me to come back to somewhat of a normal level of brain activity while he gently traced small stars into my skin along with a few more kisses here and there. 

I don’t quite know when, but at some point pulled out and got up, which I tried to lazily fight the warm body from leaving. He managed to get off the bed before I moaned at the loss of contact. He hummed in response, squatting down beside me and going in for a sweet kiss - which was much appreciated. I knew he had to get up and leave me to sort out the things he needed, which were to take care of us, but I still didn't want him to leave. 

When he finally broke the kiss, he did his signature forehead kiss and whispered “I gotta go for a minute, but I promise I’ll be back sweetheart.”

I flickered my eyes towards him, responded softly and with a small smile, “go”. 

So he got up and pulled himself from my grip, I repressed the urge to fight for him again. Instead, I lay there, listening to the wind and the rain and him in the bathroom. I began slowly positioning myself upwards, much to the dismay of the pain in my back but I knew it would help. The storm was calming down it seemed but the wind still howled through the courtyard and the school.

Returning from the bathroom a few minutes later, Rowan approached the bed, a towel around him and a damp white cloth in his hand. He moved to spread me open once more, this time the cloth came into contact with me, which made me sob a bit.

“Shhh… it’s good for you baby,” Rowan gently encouraged. He was right of course, but that didn't make it any less sensitive. 

Once he was down, he left again, but this time only for a brief moment. When he returned back to his room, he came with empty arms. Carefully he came over and helped me stand to meet him, which was painful but was helped by him. 

“Bathroom,” he directed as he wrapped his arm around me to guide me, walking over the barren hardwood which sent a coldness to my feet. I was thankful he was there, I’m pretty sure it would’ve been impossible to make it by myself, things littered the floor left and right. This made it very hard to walk in the low light but Rowan seemed to manage perfectly. Only having fumbled once, to which he hooks onto me with a cute laugh and a peck on the cheek, we made it to the bathroom. 

As soon as I felt the tile I tried to make a b-line to the bath that Rowan had drawn, but he had other plans. Gently guiding me with the palm of his hand along my back over to the toilet to get rid of the nasty stuff, he stayed with me till I was done and clean. 

With a little nod of my head, he pulled me into his side once again, lifting me into his arms this time. He's always said it is like carrying a feather with his abilities taking the physical weight off him. He’s just guiding me on where to go, but it feels no different when you’re zoned out. I wish he'd done it before, my legs were sore, but it was probably a good thing he made me walk through, to stretch knowing I’d be gone after the bath.

Gently, Rowan places himself into the bath, then me on top of him. It’s nice, the warm water hitting my skin as it makes little waves and with the candles scattered around, it’s magic. 

He pulled himself up and made sure my head was above the waterline. We layed like that for a while. I was fighting the urge to sleep when he started to glide his hands over my body lightly. My eyes closed once again and I fully surrendered to his touch. 

Rowan noticed how tired I was, probably knowing that between the storm and the sex, I was emotionally and physically drained. Which is why he whispered “Sleep sweetheart, I’ll take care of you, promise”.

I barely registered the sentence to nod, but as soon as I did, Rowan kissed my hair and I was off into the abyss, trusting that he’d keep his promise. 

---

I remember fading in and out of some sort of consciousness throughout the night. The sounds and smells of Rowan cleaning our bodies, along with the smell of bath salts and candles. It was peaceful. One of my favourite purple bath bombs layered the bath with stary swirls and bubbles 

After some time, Rowan finally exited the bath and got wrapped up in towels, before moving on to me. He most certainly used his powers to get me dry and into the pjs, I stored in his room. Thank you pre-planning. 

His glasses must have been back on because I distinctly remember accidentally brushing something metal near his face and cringing internally, hoping I didn't make them fall. But luckily he didn't pay much attention as he was too focused on other things. He laid me down on Xavier’s bed for a minute, which highly confused my delirious self. I quietly questioned him with a small mewl when he left my side, reaching out for him.

He turned back to face me, hand still in mine and chucked, “I thought you were asleep,”

“I am, keep going and coming,” I replied weakly and a bit hazy, I wanted to let him know I wasn't fully there

“Ah,” he said as he approached me again, making us level as he squatted “well I need to change the sheets baby, you made a bit of a mess”

“Sorry,” I replied with guilt. I should at least help him, I thought. But almost immediately after trying to get up, I fell back down onto my stomach, to which Rowan laughed. 

“Don’t worry about it baby, I got it. Besides, I love taking care of you, so let me,” he stated, his thumb tracing my hand. He smiled at me and lent over for a quick peck to my lips. He then got up to stand again, let go of my hand, walked over to his closet and rummaged till he found the extra sheets he was searching for. Meanwhile, I let sleep consume me once more, the black abyss taking me away once again. 

--

Rowan must have finished the bed because before I knew it, I was in his arms again being taken from one bed to another. My sweet boy. 

Carefully he laid me down under the sheets, and then tucked me in. He blew out all the candles that surrounded us, as well as in the bathroom. Soon though, he came back and peeled back the covers on his side, sliding under the warm blankets as he did. 

I gently found myself sliding over to him for even more warmth and comfort. He allowed me to roll onto him, with my neck in the crook of his. His hands once again drew patterns on my back, a reminder that he was still there if I needed him 

I just curled into him deeper, not caring about the 6 am wake-up call I would get so I could slip away before we were caught.

“Thank you,” I whisper, I don’t know what inclined me but I felt the need. Maybe it was the profound sense of safety I found in his arms as they held me tight or the emotional stability I now had, but I thought it was necessary. 

Rowan’s hands faltered for a brief second, and then he whispered, “Anytime, sweetheart."

Thanks for reading!! Let me know any feedback!

[yarrowleef]

I thought I made a post about the Onestar's SE back in 2022 a couple months before it came out and I found it in my drafts, never posted for whatever reason

anyway, as a "pre-thoughts before reading (more of) it", how I felt was that I wasn't super excited about the idea of a Onestar book.

idk. warriors is funny for me in that even though I like messy morally gray characters in literally any other property i’m into, all of warriors (in)famous morally gray characters are just. annoying to me. in a not fun way.

Like with Clear Sky, narrative misogyny aside (bc I didn't really unpack All That until after finishing the arc) I found it completely impossible to enjoy any of his POV chapters, or...anything about him, really (I’m sure a lot of it has to do with an unwillingness to let him face lasting consequences for anything. I’ll never recover from the pure elation I felt at his mother roasting him and then the stark plummet into disappointment when five seconds later she back pedals into “it’s ok actually, what you REALLY need is to forgive yourself and move on uwu”)

the frustrating thing is, I wouldn't find this character horrible to read about in theory. I feel like nearly every action he took, how quickly he escalated things, how is ego manifests.....If I was just given a summary of Clear Sky and what he did, I could probly fill in the blanks for how he made (most of) those decisions, and I might think “that would be an interesting character to read about, especially as a POV"

and yet in practice it was Not Fun to read Ever

I think erin hunter is just... really bad at believably arguing for their characters

Sometimes it feels like someone got an outline saying “this character kicks a puppy” because that puppy needs to be kicked in order to motivate the plot. and instead of sitting down and thinking through what kind of mindset would lead to someone kicking this puppy, what kind of internal arguments are they making, how are they rationalizing it, instead they just. copy the instruction down in black and white with no expansion. Character thinks “I have to kick this puppy!”, someone else asks “why do you have to do that?? wtf is wrong with you?”, character responds with “they just don’t understand! I have to kick this puppy!” without really any delving into what made them come to this conclusion first, and every obstacle and bad consequence that comes up they just repeat some variation of that same line over and over “they just don't understand why I have to kick this puppy!!” like ok cool but do YOU even understand why you have to kick this puppy???? cause sometimes it doesn’t feel like your writers do, it feels like they are dispassionately following instructions.....y'know what i mean????

Anyway, that’s what it felt like reading Clear Sky’s POV chapters

and I suspect I'm going to feel similarly about Onestar once he enters his Bitchy Leader era. Not that he is anywhere near as bad as Clear Sky, he's not, but just that this particular feeling pops up any time the Erin's try to write from the perspective of someone acting aggressively for complicated reasons. I could envision how the things that happened to Onestar led him down the road he ended up on but I'm afraid seeing inside his head will only make the character way more brainless and shallow then he was as a sort-of background character that we had to piece together on our own

[exandrothinadresseveryday]

um um um I'm back and I decided to analyze your art cause I really admire it :')

Honestly, I've noticed you use the same line width, if not similar line widths throughout the entire piece, which makes the dresses easier to swallow compared to how some artists draw, and I also think it goes perfectly with the overall simplicity of your art! While it is rather simple, it is also rather easy to add details into it to make it much more fun to do and gorgeous to look at.

I also love how you color things, as it is also pretty simple and goes with the line art, but it's also really easy to add details that you can overlook but still add to the drawing! Not even to mention how well the background goes with the outfits, especially in cases like the black hole dress or the white and blue angel dress (which both look amazing and are easily some of my favorite pieces ever)

Anyways once more, your art looks gorgeous and has given me so much inspiration and insight into my own art and how I can better it, as well that keeping things simple can totally help my art a ton!!!

um anyways sorry for the paragraphs but tysm for making the blog, it has cheered me up multiple times before and it probably will do it again countless times <33

This is so freaking cool to read, you absolutely hit the nail on the head with some of these comments :D Hope you don't mind if I add some insight on my part since it's so lovely idk if I could post it without anything to say.

But yeah, my usual choice in brush is literally a default CSP brush with the pen pressure turned off, and it tends to be 6-12px wide? There's nothing particularly special about it other than drawing with a smaller brush size helps me keep my canvas roughly the size I like (since I alter it each drawing), and I'm not a big fan of line weight in general lol. I'm definitely not the kind of person who will swear by a special custom brush or specific settings, I've always been the kind of person who will just make art with whatever the fuck I'm given.

If I can be honest, a lot of the time I just wing it with colours and the background- so you don't see it but there's a lot of me trying to slap a bandaid on a leak I created by not planning ahead. Sometimes things go smoothly, other times it doesn't.. For the record, an artwork will turn out wayyy nicer when you have a complete idea of what it's meant to look like. Do not aim to emulate me 100% I am but a fool in the grand scheme of things.

ANYWAYS, you wanna know something fucked up that might make ppl look at my art differently? This is my process for the latest drawing I did. I took my sketch, I drew it over it digitally and inked it, THEN I overlayed the sketch because I liked how it messed with my colours-

I paint OVER the artwork, realised my sloppy colouring makes the bottom part stand out so I add a shadow trying to adjust for this, decided I needed the artwork to be 100x more vibrant so I upped the contrast a bajillion times..

Then the rest was just shit i painted over:

I didn't even have lineart for the angel dress.. Check out this freak shit:

Have fun guessing what part of my artwork is what now,,,

[halfsizehellboy]

wilson being primarily sensory avoidant makes so much sense to me. He’s on the quieter side, I've mentioned light sensitivity before, and he is super tame compared to house, who is definitely sensory seeking in a lot of ways. We've seen both of them forgo crowded parties or social events, either together or separately. wilson can’t keep his mask that long, and house just doesn't get along with people. I also don't think wilson likes the complexity of noise that is dozens of conversations, eating noises, background music, and appliance electricity that makes up a social dinner event. He likes to attend the talks and lectures because then at least only one person is talking. He likes it to be quiet and dark when he’s tired, and it’s the one thing he’s been able to enforce in his and house’s apartment. I think wilson’s got that light-touch aversion, so if you bear hug him and slap him on the shoulder every once in a while he’s all good. He definitely owns a weighted blanket. 

Which makes poetic sense that house is sensory seeking— his nerves are fucked from surgery and vicodin, and he doesn’t always feel stuff like he used to, but he still looks for stimulation everywhere. He blasts his music, throws his ball around, and starts arguments because that’s a fun thing for him. Sex is sensory, and he seeks that out too. He drinks alcohol because it makes him feel more that he wants and a little less of his leg. Jumping off the balcony into the pool? Sensory seeking that adrenaline rush. He spends that entire episode trying to drown out his bad feelings with good feelings. 

Their apartment is insane, and it took a long time to balance it. Their bedroom is soundproofed for many reasons, and once they’ve organized it how they like it it rarely changes (sometimes wilson will feel insane and reorganize the kitchen or bathroom). Their bedroom has always stayed the same. Wilson has a home office in the other bedroom that is always supposed to be a quiet zone, and House doesn’t take home work. They have two wheely office chairs though, because sometimes house’s leg can’t be weight bearing and he still needs to get around the apartment. There’s a designated sensory sheet, which is for hiding under or dimming lights. 

They sleep in ways that accommodate house’s leg, but wilson usually smashes his face against house’s chest/neck/back. sometimes wilson scratches his scalp more as stimming/compulsion or a habit, but it can quickly get to be harmful because it’s so often a bad times thing. if they’re at home, house will replace wilson’s hands with his own and scratch more with his fingertips than his nails, or just pets his head for a while. At the hospital he just slaps at wilson’s hands because it’s funnier. 

wilson does not have many sensory toys/fidgets or external regulation things, if he needs one he’ll usually just borrow one of house’s (with permission bc house needs to know where things are all the time). But he does have two rubbery sensory brush things (I'm projecting they're called tactile tigers. I have cried over almost losing one and I will be buried with mine. I also have two because one stays in my room and one goes everywhere outside my room) that he adores. He doesn't need them all the time but he always has one. He rubs it on the back of his neck, in his hands, all over his arms, even on his face. He absolutely keeps stealing the shot blockers from the peds wing because they’re awesome for fidgeting, and sometimes he needs one for his patients too. 

Ok, hear me out on this: I usually get tired of cgi/ newer movies because they don't interest me a lot, and I can like. Tell whats computered and what’s real. there’s less joy in it for me to figure out how they did it. I think wilson is the same way. Older movies had less tech, so they had to get creative with how they make things: jurassic park’s giant animatronic t rex, chocolate syrup blood in black and white movies, and all those other practical effects that lower/mid budget movies used to use. It’s often so much more interesting to recognize the spray painted oven mitt slug or the tinsel-wrapped terrier, than it is to see a completely computer generated creature. I am not shitting on CGI or CGI artists!! It’s super cool tech and an awesome profession!! I just have eyes that fatigue very easily, and older movies aren’t as HD ergo not as hard on my eyes. And I like figuring out how they did practical effects and I think wilson would really like that too. 

I think next i’m gonna ramble about sexy things?? I feel insane